Clarissa Explains Fuck All is open for submissions! Unfortunately, because we’re a two lady team currently developing this blog from our respective messy bedrooms (sweat pants, slippers and all – which we hear is the look for young penniless writers and sassy media types) we’re unable to currently offer paid employment or internships or even vouchers for the high street. We’re skint but we have a lot of heart. Have a read through the guidelines below and hollaback via:
Lots of love, Amy Roberts (Alabama Roxanne) & Amy Mackelden (July 2061) xoxo
Please submit your article as a clearly titled word document, with a brief synopsis and word count within the body of the email. If you don’t know us, then please tell us a little bit about yourself and why you’d like to write for us.
Word Count// Minimum: 1’000 words Maximum: 3’000 words
We invite contributions of an academic nature but encourage a sense of humour – we don’t take ourselves, or our opinions, too seriously (within reason) and invite you to do the same (there is always room for a discussion of Matt Damon’s abs within feminist discourse).
Feel free to be as radical as you like, but consider inclusivity and reaching as wide an audience as possible. We want to celebrate female and queer culture, and engage with current issues and debates within feminism – particularly within TV & pop culture – constructively. If you’re passionate, outraged, excited or confused about a show you’ve binge-watched 2 seasons of in 48 hours, you’re in the right place.
2. Structure / Formatting
We like using visuals in our articles including, but not limited to, gifs, screencaps, YouTube videos, memes, and vomit-inducing inspirational quotes. Please illustrate your article with some tasty media. Here’s a quick guide about the best way to do this:
- Put clear titles on all media you would like to include. (e.g. DawsonCryFace.jpg)
- Insert picture title within the part of the article where you would like the media featured (e.g. >Insert DawsonCryFace.jpg<)
- For YouTube links, please insert the title of the video into your article (e.g. >YouTube Dawson Cry Face video<) and provide the link in your email to us.
Please check out existing articles on the site for insight and ideas on how to balance images within text!
We welcome articles on a variety of topics, in a selection of formats. We like critical analysis, reviews, recaps, rants, binge-watching observations, lists and passionate praise, mostly from feminist, queer and alternative perspectives – though we’re open to ideas. Here are some things we’re sure to like:
Film: Classic, B-movies, horror, arthouse, cult, mainstream.
TV: Mainstream, nostalgic, box sets, Netflix binges, YouTube finds.
Pop Culture: Music, music videos, comic books, general culture, phenomena, media & celebrity.
Nostalgia: All your favourite music videos, TV shows, movies, superstars, pin ups, scandals and pop cultural phenomena from ye olde times [or, the ‘90s. Whatever].
4. Things To Avoid
Publishing anything online can be super scary, especially if you’re expressing the sort of opinions which easily attract trolls. Don’t be scared! Where derogatory comments may appear underneath your article, or on other websites where the article is shared, keep cool and collected, and respond constructively. Most people aren’t worth the fury. And most importantly, we’ll have your back.
Try to avoid snark. We’re guilty of the odd Snarknado attack, ourselves, and though it can be an easy way to get cheap funnies, it’s easy pickings and we’re not Vice magazine. Don’t be a jerk and include derogatory language of a sexual or racial manner or targeting specific sects of people – even if its tongue in cheek – you’re better than that bro! If in doubt, ask yourself what Melissa Joan Hart would do? And if you don’t know who that is, well…why are we even talking?