Ross Was The Worst Asshole Ever On ‘Friends’

Lucia Carrillo revisits David Schwimmer’s most important role: Ross fucking Geller ladies and gentleman.

Friends is a show that I come back to watch over and over again through the years and it has had, and still has, a massive influence on Millennials around the world. And by influence I mean, some of us have tried to copy many of the unrealistic features of the show within our own lives. Namely, hairstyles, coffee shop goals and that damn New York apartment that we all presumed we could afford on a waitress’ salary. Friends has inspired a certain kind of lifestyle and we still can feel its presence in the failure of our own lives. 

I’ve been learning about life from Friends since the very first episode, and whilst doing so created this image of what life would be in my twenties and thirties. I used to imagine myself with my friends, hanging out in a café, with awesome outfits and cool haircuts, just living the life. And I still love to watch the show over and over, but the experience changes as l’m getting older. When you are a child or a teenager and you are a TV lover, you gain ludicrous expectations from your favourite shows about how life works. But then as you grow up, reality happens and life? Well, it’s nothing like Friends

For me, I was pretty sure I could live in New York if I wanted to and I could have my group of friends just like them. Of course I knew it was difficult because I didn’t know a word of English, I lived in a very small town in the south of Spain, I belonged to a working class family, and I wasn’t surrounded by people called Ross, Rachel or Chandler. My friends were called Javier, Alejandro and Rosa. “Funny” story because in Friends, there’s a chair called “Rosita” and that’s the closest I think Hispanics were on a TV show in the 90’s.

Anyway, I didn’t imagine myself just copying their lifestyle, but also meeting a boyfriend like Ross Geller. I was so caught up in Rachel and Ross’s love story that I wanted something like they had, and I don’t think that I was alone in feeling that. I thought he was the perfect boyfriend – he was cute, he was smart, and he made me laugh a lot with his extra white teeth, and his half body tan. I don’t know, I just thought he was my one and only and the perfect “boyfriend material”. I mean, Joey was obviously an asshole to girls and Chandler was… well, I honestly have never thought of Chandler as anything more than Monica’s boyfriend.

I mean, if you watch the show, at some point you’ll find yourself thinking “Oh my gosh, Ross and Rachel are so cute, they are lobster!” But were they? Let me explain to you why I changed my mind about this famous couple: Ross Geller is a sexist asshole. And I wish I could talk to my teenage self and tell her: “Hey, Ross is an asshole. So stop assuming guys who look like him are going to be good.” Because I really shouldn’t idealize male leading characters and instead pay attention to the harsh facts; Ross was a total asshole whom some Friends writer decided would make for the perfect romantic lead. And he totally wasn’t, guys. 

Let me explain a few reasons why I think Ross Geller is stupid.

Ross Was An Entitled, Whingebag Loser


He was stalking Rachel (his little sister’s best friend) since a very young age. That’s creepy and definitely not romantic. I mean, he is obsessed with Rachel so much that he even starts a hate club against her because she doesn’t love him back. There’s so much wrong with this that I don’t even know where to start. First, he clearly doesn’t know anything about respecting a woman’s choice. Like, she doesn’t owe you anything, if she doesn’t like you, well just deal with it! Respect the girl, asshole!

And the worst is all the “friendzone” bullshit this situation generates. There’s no friendzone: if you don’t know how to be a girl’s friend, then it’s your business, don’t blame the girl for not liking you. She doesn’t have to like you just because you are “a good guy”.

Ross Was Way Fragile Everyone Had To Stay The Fuck Away From His Women


He is way too possessive and jealous. Remember Mark? The guy from Bloomingdale’s? When Ross and Rachel are dating, poor Rachel is forced to repeat over and over that she isn’t “checking the stock” (heh) of co-worker Mark. Ross still insists on stalking her and following her, even to work. He is purposefully annoying her to let Mark know she has a boyfriend. Which is pathetic and it shows a very fragile and toxic masculinity. Ross keeps invading her privacy and questioning everything she says. He even feels intimidated when she gets the job she wanted. He is a toxic disrespectful and unsupportive boyfriend.

Ross Was A Terrible Human Being Who Made Horrible Judgement Calls

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Emily, oh Emily. Ross says the wrong name, ruins their wedding and their relationship and then starts stalking Emily and her family. Here’s the thing: I used to hate Emily. In the show she’s like almost a “villain” who wants to separate Ross from Rachel. But to be fair, she doesn’t want to go back to Ross. After Ross says “Rachel” during his wedding to Emily wedding, she actually tries to hide from him. But Ross persists until she says yes and takes him back. Emily is possessive too, sure, but why is she portrayed as being the villain when the whole situation is Ross’ fault? Poor old Ross seems to be a good guy who just makes bad decisions. Please offer him your sympathies, guys. 

Ross Wanted His Women’s Bodies On Total Lockdown


He dates a student, Elizabeth. And I’m not here to talk about the power differential within their relationship. Instead, let me remind you when she goes on spring break and she wants to wear a bikini, Ross gets mad. Again, Ross Geller being possessive. What a surprise!

Ross Knew More About Babies And Stuff Than Pregnant Ladies Did

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Season 8: When Rachel tells him that she is pregnant, he is a complete asshole. Rachel goes bravely to talk to him, and he (obviously) thinks she is going to confess her love for him. He starts talking and explaining (mansplaining!) to her why they can’t be together. Then, when she tells him she’s pregnant, he stops talking and he calls the condom company to complain.

But that isn’t his only bad behaviour; in the same episode he tells Rachel she can’t have a baby alone. He says “you can’t even eat alone in a restaurant, how are you going to raise a baby?” Which is pretty funny considering he has a kid and he barely spends time with him. Actually, Ross is the one who doesn’t know how to raise a baby, because he hasn’t done it, even when he had to.

Ross Should Have Been Put On Some Kind Of Sex Offender Register

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He films himself and Rachel having sex and he keeps the tape without telling her. Just think about how creepy that is. He is a PERV!!!!! And please, don’t tell me he didn’t know the camera was recording because he didn’t say a word for a long time and he kept the tape without Rachel’s consent.  

The list could easily go on and on, it but for the sake of my own sanity, I’m going to halt it there. Ross was such a horrible character that I’m actually thinking of making an I Hate Ross Club. You know, just in retaliation for Rachel and, I guess, women in general and I’m pretty sure that Jennifer Aniston would in all likelihood become the reigning Queen of that club.

luciaLucía Carrillo is a writer and blogger, originally from Granada in Spain, who has written for sites and magazines like MOGUL and Cultura Colectiva. Lucía writes in English and Spanish about TV, feminism, and philosophy, and is also interested in space, time, and Artificial Intelligence. You can find her blog, Thinking About Causation, here. Lucía’s a feminist ukulele player who truly loves pizza, sweet potatoes, and chestnuts. Follow her on Instagram.


One thought on “Ross Was The Worst Asshole Ever On ‘Friends’

  1. Pingback: “Dear Ross” by Hannah Sothcott | Clarissa Explains Fuck All

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