Many a love story is questionable: god knows we’ve ALL spent long hours agonising over whether Edward Cullen loves Bella Swan or is actually an abusive, misogynistic, pious, conservative, controlling, dick brain of a man/vampire. And even those classic rom-com heroines who spend their lives wearing Spanx and hair pieces to impress the so-called man of their dreams (I wish Bridget Jones would see how unbearably moody and inconsistent Mark Darcy is), in hindsight, it’s a little hard to tell why they loved who they professed to, and if we ourselves didn’t date a spate of undesirables purely because they were in the same postcode and we were too lazy to travel (buses cost, yo, and we’re pre-empire at this point).
But Walt and Jesse, for me anyway, have always been a true love affair. What I wouldn’t give to see a proper bonding sesh like a Laser Tag game or a spot of golf. I want Jesse integrated into the White family like instant coffee with a stir. Just to be clear, I’m not talking romantic love (and if that’s what you were thinking, what is WRONG with you?) Jesse is like a son to Walt. Sure, Walt already has a son, but he wants another one, okay? Which sums up him all over: he wants, wants, wants, wants, WANTS.
There’s much dissemination of this point on the internets, and majority says, Walt treats Jesse like shit. Now I grant you, *SPOILER ALERT HERE*, he let Jesse’s girlfriend die, poisoned Brock, tricked him into helping in the plot to kill Gus, killed Mike (who was a slightly more appropriate surrogate dad), inadvertently got him beaten up on several occasions, and numerous other dreadful acts I seem to have labelled bonding and stored so deep in my brain I can’t recall them right now. But there’s one thing which makes me sure that Walt LOVES Jesse, that despite all the bullshit, heinous crimes at his expense, he really, truly loves and considers him as family. Because if he didn’t: Jesse would be dead.
There is no reason for Walt to keep Jesse alive. Tactically, it’d be way better for Heisenberg, his retirement, his wife and kids, and future business, if Jesse was dead. And we all know Heisenberg doesn’t pause to consider a kill (anymore), that if he wanted Jesse dead, he wouldn’t even have to kill him himself: he has a bounty of prisoners, both on the inside and out, who would do a job like that for a Mars bar.
Jesse should be long gone. But he’s not. So there’s something there, right?
One of the most recent episodes adds to this discussion, questioning whether Walt is genuine when he comforts Jesse. Sure, Walt is a great actor, capable of fooling astute DEA agents, but when he hugs Jesse, finally that bit of skin to skin contact we’ve been waiting for, he looks just as distraught as Jesse, holding him the way you would a child or a BFF. I choose to believe that Walt truly wishes their relationship could be different, was out in the open, no longer a closed door, inside tents inside houses, sort of shut-away love. Because for all that’s different about them (their IQs for a start) they’re both survivors, totally misunderstood by the people around them, if they even have people around them.
On a side note, Walt made good on his word and gave Jesse his share of the business, turning up out of the blue with $5 million in duffle bags. Jesse was terrified, sure Walt was there to kill him, but why Walt bother giving Jesse what he was owed, if he didn’t care just a little bit?
It’s like the perfect teacher-student relationship. Maybe even hotter than Ezra Fitz and Aria Montgomery. Walt teaches Jesse a trade, and they work side by side as equals, and Walt has the utmost respect for Jesse (sometimes). But like in any family dynamic, it’s not always possible to make the right choice at the exact time, and sometimes emotions get the better of us and we accidentally line-cross a boundary we swore not to. And Walt does this continually, interfering in Jesse’s life, a string puller, causing a domino effect, which ultimately ruins everything.
But if the question is, does Walt love Jesse? Totally! At least in the same way Dawson loves Joey: sometimes you want the worst for them as much as you want the best, but if the world ends, you’ll have their back with a meat cleaver, fending those zombies off (zombie Jen Lindley ahhhh).
In an alternate universe, the pair would golf on Saturdays, and Jesse’s dinner invite wouldn’t be fraught. Instead they’d play trivial pursuit after. Then play with some puppies.
You can’t get everything you fantasise about. I know because Tom Cruise isn’t here feeding me Haribo. And although the end looks bleaker than Sex and the City 2, my choice is to keep faith, that love makes us act in mysterious ways – turns the most of stable of us into right cunts, at times. And Walt, he did a bunch of shit-brain things in the throes of cancer, and after it, but he had one thing at the forefront of his mind: family. And Jesse, for every relapse, fucked up, unsure exchange, is family now. Sign those adoption papers before the show ends and introduce him to Walt Jr., Holly. Because sometimes family chooses you a little bit, and once you’ve cooked with someone whilst in your pants, they’re in the fold, for good, bad, hideous, heinous, and downright despicable. And once they’re in, you never, ever, under any circumstances, kill them, however inconvenient they become.
So does Walt love Jesse? As sure as Jessica Simpson’s movie career is over. Walt loves him more than I love cake. He’s just a bit of a dick, okay?